Dont mess with me

My next-door-neighbours moved out a week ago. They have gone to London to make their fortune (as apparently the streets are still paved in gold) and have left behind overgrown gardens. At the back the hedge is so high that I have no light in my alley or the top end of my garden. At the front the leylandii is sprouting all over the path so that I have to walk across my garden (I am allergic to the stuff so cant risk brushing up against it). Before they went I asked them very politely to sort out the gardens and they were all drooling compliance - soooo sorry it has been neglected, had to prioritise, of course we will do it all before we go.... and then they left.

The house to up for let with a local estate agent who I contacted and was told that it was not their problem - it was up to the house-owner. I pointed out that he may have trouble letting it and his only reply was that he would 'speak to' the owners and ask them to return and sort it out - sigh, sigh, sigh.

So last night I began - I picked the best blooms and greenery and made a lovely arrangement for my dining room table. And this weekend I intend to attack with a hedge-trimmer and branch-lopper and the resulting mess will be piled high on the drive so that the next time the estate agent brings someone round and they swing into the drive they will receive a lovely surprise.

Dont mess with grumpyoldwoman - she rules!

You know its going to be a bad day when....

........ you open the curtains and a spider falls on your head........

........ you feel the first drop of rain as you arrive at work having left a full load of laundry drying on the line .............

........ your first phone call of the day is an automated voice asking if you need help with debt ................

........ you find ants in the sweet bowl ...................

........ someone has walked across the forecourt at work with chalk on their shoes .........

But at least my day started out better than a friend of mine who posted on Facecrook 'You know its going to be a bad day when you have to butter your toast with a spoon' .... ha ha ha ha

Expectations and Reality

2 months ago today I had a half-knee replacement. My, hasnt time flown?

I have discovered that there were huge differences between my expectations and the reality.

For instance:

E: Back to work in 2-4 weeks
R: Back to work part-time after 6 weeks

E: Bend knee 90% in 24 hours
R: Bend knee 90% on Day 4

E: 4-6 weeks of Physio
R: 3 sessions then you are on your own

E: Lots of relaxation enjoying reading, blogging, sleeping, TV watching
R: Unable to concentrate on anything for more than 5 minutes

E: Able to be fairly independent on return from hospital
R: Being almost totally dependent for at least 4 weeks

E: Moderate to severe pain for about a week and then better than pre-op
R: Severe to unbearable pain for at least 5 weeks

E: Driving after 4 weeks
R: Driving after 9 weeks

E: Some swelling and light bruising
R: Massive swelling and horrendous bruising

E: To be totally back to normal after 2 months
R: Never was normal!

Conclusion:

I feel that more realistic advice should be given by the healthcare team before and after the surgery. There is a tendency for a bit of depression caused by the mixture of severe pain and being dependent for everything which I think would be easier to handle if there was fair warning. Knowing that I was not the only person crying 'please cut my leg off' at 3 in the morning would have been a real help.

Would I recommend the op - of course. If it needs doing it is because life without it has become unbearable/undoable. I look forward to walking further, cycling, swimming and dancing; I couldnt look forward to those things without the surgery.

Onwards and upwards - tally ho!

Another moment - or two

I check the bedside radio/clock - it says 0.00 - bugger. Sighing heavily I heave myself out of bed and rummage in the drawer for the instructions. Flicking through the multi-lingual instructions (I THINK they are in English somewhere) I glance again at the clock - 0.01 - ah! It hadnt stopped - it was midnight. Being blonde rocks....

I open the washing machine which I loaded with a white wash - and the wash is pink. Hidden in the depths was a pink cushion cover with the instructions (in English this time) - handwash only, wash dark colours seperately. Being blonde sucks ....

Why God?

I filled the washing machine and in it I put:

T shirt
Trousers
Skirt
1 pair of socks
2 flannels
3 pairs of knickers.....

and a tissue

SIGH

Repatronisation

Yep - thats what I said - repatronisation.

After a very pleasant BBQ and a few bevvies talk came around to holidays abroad and what happens if you dont return live and hearty.

A friend had had a few more bevvies than me (hard to believe I know) and was fascinated to hear how bodies are repatriated (at least he appeared to be fascinated - he may just have been trying to focus. I think his word for the process is much better than the usual one.

I LOVE words.

Chirpy-chirpy-chee-cheep

This little fella made a break for freedom after being hatched under a broody hen with his 6 siblings. Bet the hen was surprised to produce 7 baby pheasants!

He was found racing around a garden 3 doors away from his 'Mum' but re-united after several grown men and women raced around the garden to rescue him.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Back-stabbers please note:

I wonder how life would be if we all just took one day to say exactly what we mean?

I am very fed up of comments made obliquely - if someone has something to say about me I would much rather they did it to my face.

Sorry - got too much time on my hands; taking things to heart far too readily I suppose.

Numb bum

Since my op I have never SAT so much in my life (excepting the enforced 3 months in traction in 1974 when I did the damage that necessitated the knee-op, of course).

At physio yesterday I was told that I had 'done too much, too soon' - I agree. I did what they said the previous week and walked a bit further each day, culminating in walking around the block, a distance of just over a quarter of a mile.

At physio yesterday I was told that I no longer need my stick - I agree. When walking around the house and garden or with MM holding my hand I am perfectly confident. When walking in crowds I am terrified of being bumped into as I would not be able to 'hold my ground'. A stick helps to define my personal space and inform others that I am unsteady on my feet.

At physio yesterday the lovely lady suggested that we pace ourselves - I agree. However her example was 'an hours gardening, then an hours rest, then another hours gardening'. Um. Apart from pruning (cant stand on one leg or lean easily) or mowing the lawn (in the rain?) the only gardening left is weeding and planting. These involve either kneeling (cant - had knee op you know) or digging (use your imagination).

So - my options are - sitting and housework. I hoover - then I sit. I wash-up - then I sit. I dust - then I sit. I do the laundry - then I sit.

My brain is quite numb - my bum is more so!

PS: As a bit of a break from the routine I have just rescued our escaped chicken. She made a break for freedom and was in the road - I coaxed her in with a banana and the help of the man opposite who leapt up and down waving his arms (I role I could never have filled).

Tagged - but cant tag - oops

I was tagged by therubbishdiet blog, and the first thing I must do is apologise cos I cant remember how to do the link thing or the tag thing so I cant tag 8 other bloggers to answer the questions and add one on. If I could I would want everyone to do it as it is quite interesting to ask yourself these questions, dont you think?

So if you fancy doing it, please do, and let me know so that I can read your responses. Ta.

1.What are your current obsessions?
Watching Come Dine with Me and Loose Women - never used to watch TV but am mostly housebound. Also collecting Barbie the chicken's daily egg.


2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?
Currently shorts as I have a wound on my knee that cant bear weight on it - usually jeans for casual and a suit for work.

3. What’s for dinner?
No idea - MM is cooking - but it will be lovely as always.

4. Last thing you bought?Newpaper - cant shop at the mo - no funds.


5. What are you listening to?
Nothing - silence. Last music listened to was Snow Patrol singing live at Swindon on TV.


6. Do you have a pet and if not, why not?
Fish - but I have step-pets ~ a chicken and a duck.


7. Favourite holiday spots?
Turkey.



8. Reading right now?
The rise and fall of a yummy mummy by Polly Williams - literary froth I know, but its all my sleep-deprived brain can cope with right now.

9. 4 words to describe yourself.
Impatient, methodical, deluded, loving.


10. Guilty pleasure?
Dark chocolate

11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?
Never mind the Buzzcocks

12. First spring thing?
Frost-free windscreen!

13. Planning to travel to next?
Not sure - not long since we went to Cuba - a hard act to follow. Possibly Turkey again in October.


14. Best thing you ate or drank lately?
Roast beef yesterday


15. When did you last get tipsy?
Seriously tipsy? Probably a month ago. Not keen on being very drunk.


16. Favourite ever film?
4 weddings and a funeral

17. Care to share some wisdom?
Life is finite - there are no guarantees and we all have a different shelf-life. Every life lived should be considered just that - lived, not interrupted by death. Bet you're sorry you asked!!!!

18. Favourite song?
REM - Everybody hurts............ so true

19. What's your favourite meal you make without sticking to a recipe?
Any stir-fry.

20. Who would play you in a movie of your life?Sienna Miller - not cos shes beautiful (I wish) but cos she is a throwback almost-hippy.


21. Facebook or Twitter? Other or Neither?
Facebook - got both but cant see the point of Twitter



22. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
I would have perfect harmony with my children - even if only for one day.

To sleep, perchance to... SLEEP!

I am deprived - sleep deprived. Granted I dont stay awake ALL night - it just feels like it.

I have read up on the subject and it is terrifying. Sleep deprivation leads to all sorts of evils - like stunted growth (unlikely at my great age), weight-gain (more likely, sadly), depression, Bi-polar disorder (aarrgghh - I dont want to be Kerry Katona), brain disfunction mimicing ADHD (sweet Jesus - nooooo)and ultimately - death (the greatest sleep of all). Another by-product is memory loss and that one I can definately relate to.

My head feels fuzzy and my eyes gritty. My hands are shakey and I have a continual feeling that I have forgotten something desperately important.

Now, I wont claim that I am being imprisoned or tortured - on the contrary, MM is taking VERY GOOD CARE of me. But I can relate to this:

"In the head of the interrogated prisoner, a haze begins to form. His spirit is wearied to death, his legs are unsteady, and he has one sole desire: to sleep...Anyone who has experienced this desire knows that not even hunger and thirst are comparable with it." (supposedly a quote from Menachem Begin).

About one night in four I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and though I wake every two hours I go straight back to sleep. But 3 nights in four I toss and turn and sigh.

I have never been the worlds best sleeper (in contrast to MM who can, and does, fall asleep like someone has hypnotised him) but I am much worse since the knee op. All day when it hurts I can exercise or go for a walk, I can rest it for a bit or massage it, I can divert myself with Loose Women or a good book. But at night it burns like a blow-torch is trained on it. I can lie on my left side or back, but not on my right or front. Getting out of bed it feels like it is going to turn inside-out and not hold me up. I put it under the duvet/on top of the duvet, I lay a cold flannel on it, I take painkillers. Eventually I fall into an exhausted sleep for maybe 20 minutes only to jerk awake and begin again.

Now, reading this has probably sent you all into a deep sleep - oh how I envy you. There is only one other thing as tiring as not being able to sleep and that is bathing/showering. I have a bath seat (made lovingly by MM) and a non-slip mat (horrid thing) and hand-rails. After negotiating all of these and actually washing myself I am almost too knackered to get back out and dry myself. Wouldnt you think that after doing that I would be so worn out that I would sleep - dont you believe it.

Sigh..................

Hairy-scarey

I appear to have a bit of an obsession with hairy eyebrows on women - it is the thing I always notice first.

I have to say that I am horrified that Madonna doesnt sort out her daughters caterpillars for her - perhaps she doesnt want people distracted by her daughters natural beauty....

Unnatural practices

Maybe this chicken SHOULD have crossed the road.

Disgusted of Bury St Edmunds

Went for a meal at my local Ember Inns last night.

Am still using a stick and cant sit for long without elevating my leg so was quite pleased when I discovered that the Moreton Hall pub had a disabled toilet. Expected it to be clean and tidy with an elevated toilet seat with arm rests to help me stand.

Was sorely disappointed - not to say disgusted,

1. Member of staff didnt know where key was
2. Had to leave door open so I didnt get stuck in there
3. No elevated seat, no arm rests
4. On lifting the lid and seat I found the toilet was covered in both pee and poo.
5. Decided to wash my hands and try my luck in the normal toilets (which are always spotless) - tap turned to full and emitted a splutter of water only.
6. Couldnt see any soap or handwash
7. Clutch of damp paper towels on edge of sink
8. Bin did not have pedal so had to lift lid with fingers

Limped to bar to register my complaint. Member of staff expressed surprise as she said 'The managers wife cleans that loo daily'. I suggested it hadnt been cleaned lately. She went to look, came back and announced that the water mark was dark due to the local water. She couldnt see any pee or poo!!!!! When I suggested she look again she shrugged and marched off.

Not happy bunny. What do you think? Is it acceptable to ignore the disabled toilet just because it is rarely used?